SEVEN

Kellen and Carson…Wow…SEVEN!!! How are we already here?!? Happy birthday boys! I am so thankful that we’ve been blessed to have you for seven years and I pray many, many more to come!

I was at a bible study the other night with several girls…several that I just met that night, a couple friends of several years but no one that was around seven years ago. One asked me to explain the medical journey that Carson (& Kellen) have been on. I started in with finding the teratoma in utero, our weekly visits to St. Louis until delivery, the EXIT procedure, the teratoma resection and trach placement three days later. How we found out later that many doctors and nurses didn’t think Carson would live. I went on to say that Carson has had 25+ surgeries, with two major airway reconstructions and another one next month. I briefly described this upcoming surgery with some tears. I explained how strong Carson has always been and how my faith has been strengthened…BUT as I was talking, I just didn’t feel like I was doing Carson’s journey [our journey] justice.

It’s hard to put into words the last seven and a half years…from finding out we were having twins as newlyweds, that one had a cervical teratoma, to nights in the NICU (for four months), to bringing a baby home to rural Missouri with a trach and on oxygen, to a couple really scary trach related situations, to Carson’s silent screams and tears shed EVERY time we did trach care, to the countless (in home) nursing stories that you almost have to be there to believe, to Preston (or another family member) staying up through the night for the first several months (even though we had a nurse there also) just to make sure Carson made it through the night safely, to the number of family members that came to help on a regular basis, rearranging their own lives to help us out. The hundreds of people that prayed along with us. Not to mention how many nurses, doctors, and therapists that we have come to know…many became friends. The hours upon hours that we have worked on eating (day after day) with Carson…the frustration that it caused on both sides (& still does regularly). The numerous trips to St. Louis and Cincinnati for appointments and surgeries. Anesthesia almost 30 times [30 times in 7 years]. The hospital stays. The tears that have been cried, the smiles that have been shared, the prayers that have been said, the triumphs and the disappointments. But always, the hope. How do you put all that into words?? I’m not really sure you can, especially not in a couple minutes. But it’s there, it’s Carson and Kellen’s beginnings even if you can’t tell it by looking at them now. It has shaped them.

It has changed us. And it continues to.

Many of the memories and emotions have faded (thank God) but I hope I never forget the miracles, how God has shown up even when I didn’t feel him, and just how far we have come. I hope at some point, Carson and Kellen can both own their part in the journey…that they may just have a little insight into how amazing they are, how strong and brave and resilient!

Happy birthday you two! May you always shine bright, love big, and have each other’s backs!

SIX

FIVE

FOUR

THREE

TWO

ONE

First family photo all together <3

Just before the teratoma was removed...my oh my, glad these days are past.