EIGHT!!

Guys! I am behind [shocker]...Ha! Carson and Kellen turned 8 years old on the 8th of November. Ever heard of a golden birthday? Well, that's what their 8th birthday was this year (since they turned 8 on the 8th).

We had a fabulous time celebrating with friends and family! The original plan was to have several friends over and just let them loose in the bottom of the pond [we are in the process of digging]. That seemed like a great idea until it rained and rained...and rained.  So we switched gears & kept it in the yard, but strictly outside. No one wants 15-ish boys in their house. Ahhh! They had fun...their friends had fun...and we had fun watching them! Win, win, win!

I reminisce throughout the year but this time of year, I find myself reminiscing a little more often to the time of their birth and removal of the teratoma and the following weeks, months, years. To think where we came from, from the fears we had, the unknowns, the struggle...to now! Some of our struggles & fears are the same but so many are COMPLETELY different.

"I always felt like I was waiting for the gift. But I've come to see that the waiting IS the gift." 

I read this in a book recently and I could not write something more meaningful in regards to Carson's journey. We are still waiting in regard to getting his trach out/his eating but there has been SO MUCH joy in the waiting! And I'm oh so thankful we didn't know at the beginning that it would be 8+ years but I am also so thankful that around 18 months or so, it hit us that we need to stop WAITING for his trach to be removed to start living but to just START living right where we were. It looked different then...we stayed home a MAJORITY of the time to keep him healthy but that slowly gave way to park days [lots of park days], vacations, even beach vacations, riding bikes & scooters, to play dates, school, 'swimming,' climbing rock walls, and hiking to the top of a mountain. It was just taking little steps along the way, making the most of what we were given, yelling at God sometimes, crying, asking 'why', but in the end stepping up to the journey that was ahead of us. Searching for hope when we didn't feel it, looking to God but also to each other for hope, encouragement, and steadfastness [is that a word?]. The most growth happens in the valleys and I hate to admit it sometimes because I worry I'll be sent more 'valleys' to shape me into the person I am to become but it's the truth. I still don't know I can say I'm thankful for the teratoma & all its taught me but I am so very thankful for the lessons I have learned and the shift in my perspective to more of the important things. Because as much as decannulation [getting the trach out] and Carson eating seems like the end goal for now, I know perfectly well there will be more challenges along the way. I hope that all these things we've learned can be adjusted and used in those challenges too!

As I hope you know...you all have been a part of this journey, the cloud of witnesses, the hands & feet of Jesus, and the safety net of prayer warriors that has strengthened us through the last 8 years. Much love to all of you too!

Other updates:
We will go back to Cincinnati for a bronchoscopy January 8th. We are hopeful that we may get good news! And praying that Carson is healthy and an accurate picture is seen by the surgeons.

Carson has not lost weight...so that's a plus [but he hasn't gained either]... no, he has NOT had some miraculous increase in appetitie. And I find myself trying to greatly encourage more food when really my idea was to put that ball in his court [totally]. Some of that 'encouragement' stems from the fact that he needs to keep experiencing different textures/foods and his body needs good protein, etc. We are hanging in there and I AM thankful that he has not lost weight. Continued prayers are appreciated!

Oh...and Carson had a dentist appointment again today (they have him come every 3 months to increase familiarity) and he ROCKED it! He didn't have to do bite wing X-rays which was great but he laid back further in the chair and only gagged once [and that was because a piece of plastic got in his mouth somehow!!!!] And he used the straw sucker many times. He still doesn't want the water shot in his mouth and hasn't attempted their toothpaste because of the grit but I'll take it : ) They were happy too and said he can come back in 6 months since it is easier for him. Next step...we need sealant on his teeth!

Last thing...I hope everyone has a fabulous Thanksgiving (there is a reason Carson & Kellen were born in November...extra reminders of all I have to be thankful for!) and a wonderful Christmas season!

Lego Ninjago...family fun!

The entire crew...complete with lego ninjas & ballerinas

Friends!!

Bedtime chaos!

At least they are all still laughing! [that's not always the case]

A golden birthday!

Wanted to repost this from four years ago (11/11/2015)
11.11.11 ...Four years ago, Carson was going through a life saving surgery (his body was shutting down because of a 2+ pound teratoma on his neck). It was a miracle surgery...no one knew what the outcome would be but we were all praying. He went IN to surgery with facial features that you could hardly recognize and came out battered and bruised but with all those sweet, perfect facial features in place (complete with a 'butt chin' just like his daddy and Kellen)! I thank the Lord for the surgeons and nurses that day...those that took care of our baby when we couldn't. I'm so thankful that we've had four years with Carson, his joyful laugh, contagious smile, and all his silly antics. We didn't know what was in store for us (& thank God because it has been rough at times) but the joy overcomes it all! God truly knows what we need when we need it. One of those being Kellen...not just a brother but a twin who can support Carson and ground us in only a way a child can! Sometimes we have to wait days or years to see God's plan (or maybe we will have to wait to ask him face to face on some) but we CAN put our total trust in God and just focus on finding joy in each and every moment!

Thank you to so many of you that have prayed for them since their birth (& even before)...I will never be able to thank you all enough for the support and love that have been showered on our entire family!

First time seeing Carson after surgery 11.11.11

Four years ago [& still one of my favorites]