the amazing adventures of carson and kellen: Preschool & stuff

Friday, September 16, 2016

Preschool & stuff

I just tucked all 3 of my boys in bed. Friday night special…Carson, Kellen and Preston all bunkin’ together. Carson and Kellen have been counting down the days since LAST Friday night : )

This was last weekend...LOVE!

Yesterday (Thursday) was a big day in the Clark household. Carson and Kellen went to their first day of Thursday school (a one day a week preschool). They both loved it!! In fact, Kellen asked if he could go today also : ). It is only 3 hours and I stayed in the building to be available in case of trach emergencies (& to observe snack time with Carson) but I hope it will be a positive step for them before they start Kindergarten next year. It was ironic that Thursday was also NICU Nurses’ Day…to think how far they have come from their NICU days. I never dreamed that Carson would still have a trach or that we would still be working on oral feedings but it is one of those times when looking back, I know it was God’s protection.

Boys will be boys!

They are in the blue class (they will be in different classes in K)

In the beginning, it would have been smothering for me, stifling my hope & joy, to imagine 5+ years stretched out ahead with a trach. Somewhere along the way, I remember talking with Preston and thinking we really need to just start living WITH the trach instead of always saying “When the trach comes out, then….” But, it’s been a continual process of staying in the moment and not getting too caught up in the future because when I get too far in the future the anxious thoughts and fears just begin to build. But isn’t that just what God wants from us, to stay in all of the current moments. He didn’t design our minds to be able to handle the many what ifs of the future. But being a person that likes to plan, plan, plan…it is so hard! Trying to find that balance of preparing and planning yet trusting & leaving the details in God’s hands.

So we will continue on…the flexible scope (pulmonology) & rigid bronchoscopy (ENT) is scheduled for Sept 30^th. Maybe we will head into October with a good plan & maybe some good news. This past year (actually almost a year ago exactly) we began the reconstruction process. It has been a journey…we counted recently and Carson had 10 different surgeries this past year alone. He continually amazes me because although that is WAY to many surgeries for a little boy to have to go through…it is not what he would tell you made up his past year. He would likely tell you about riding his scooter, his bike, playing with Kellen, going to the mountains and the beach, playing with his cousins, and the trips to Cincinnati…not the surgeries but the fun (the zoo, the craft room, the parks). I would take all the pain away for Carson if I could but I know God doesn’t make mistakes, he created Carson for this exact purpose and I pray that he sees the strength and courage in himself that I see everyday. And speaking of God’s plan...he gave us twins. Kellen & Carson are each others comfort item. They don’t have blankies or bears they are really attached to…it’s the other person. And while I am the first to tell you that they are rather dependent on each other (& I know there are pitfalls of that), it is also rather reassuring for my heart. There is no doubt in my mind that they will flourish as individuals, they have the rest of their lives for that, but for now, I love that they look to each for encouragement and confidence when they get in unknown territory.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:14-16